Cutting Arrows
by Yakosh
Summary: Kiriko is not a particularly sociable person. One might go so far as to call her antisocial. Or maybe just "f*** off you perverted a**hole!". As a result, she's not particularly well versed in the skill of getting people to actually like her. Especially if they're an icy-haired sniper with an equally icy personality. fem!Kirito x Sinon yuri... romance? Probably. Hopefully.
1. Wanna party with me?

**One of two projects I've been "working on" (last time I touched this story was I think in March)—I figured I'd post it because I want to be able to say I actually posted something this year (I know that it no longer qualifies for many people, but I'll have you know that for me it's 11 PM on December 31st, 2019 as I write this note and shouldn't take me an hour to actually post this) and this chapter's basically finished. No promises for the next chapter, but seeing as I've got basically infinite free time until next fall when I go off to college, it might actually happen.**

**The story itself, as the summary should say unless 10-minutes-in-the-future me suffers from a sudden stroke of genius, is a fem!Kirito (aka Kiriko) x Sinon yuri story, though Sinon's pretty OOC. It's set in Aincrad and is hopefully a romance story.**

**The premise of this story was basically "so what if Kirito was female, kinda perverted, and an asshole," so have fun with that. Also Sinon's here, naturally. I think it's pretty good, tbh. If you feel like telling me I did something wrong, please do. If you feel like posting rage reviews in the name of God... also please do! I'll make sure to screenshot them and laugh at you with the people on the Ace Fiction discord server (shameless)-plug. If you wanna join, standing open invite is discord [the small circle thing, so FFN doesn't censor] gg [slash] YU8A6Bp.**

* * *

**Chapter 1: Wanna party with me?**

The crack of snapping bones echoed through the dungeon halls as Kiriko caved the skull of a «Skeleton Warrior», the staple enemy of the 38th floor dungeon, against the wall with a punch of her metal gauntlet. As the remains of the final skeleton shimmered and shattered into familiar polygons, Kiriko sheathed her sword and got moving again.

The pause was short lived, however, as clangs of metal on metal and metallic footsteps soon pulled Kiriko's attention once more. The only skeletons with metallic footsteps were the «Skeleton Knights» and «Skeleton Juggernauts», elite enemies and minibosses of the dungeon respectively. She picked up the pace towards the telltale sounds of combat.

Soon, she rounded a final corner. Fighting there was a lone player, armed with a weapon rather rare among the ranks of SAO players, simply due to difficulty of use under pressure. A bow. The girl's light blue hair hung down on either side, framing her cute face and a light, green tailcoat without a right sleeve clad her body. Under it were a pair of black short shorts and a tight black shirt which left her stomach bare and was almost entirely covered by a simple metallic breastplate. Black combat boots adorned her feet. The outfit left her toned legs and stomach bare, something which played _absolutely_ no role _whatsoever_ in Kiriko's following decision.

_Those fucking legs._

Hearing heavy metal footsteps, Kiriko tore her gaze from the archer('s ass) and turned it to the 'imposing' sight of a «Skeleton Juggernaut» as it charged at her. She looked at the 8 foot tall mass of bone clad head-to-toe in heavy, dark plate armor with what could only be described as extreme irritation. Neither the spikes nor the greatsword were enough to phase the swordswoman. The giant was, frankly, a terrible match for the archer. The skeletons only had joints in a very loose sense, and shooting through the weak points at the joints would deal very little permanent damage—severing the two bones did little as they would just reattach.

Which is what made the archer's achievement of having reduced the Juggernaut's HP down to 60% actually impressive. All its weak points were peppered with arrows with pinpoint precision. And yet, as the quiver on her back neared empty, the same could not be said for the Juggernaut's health bar.

_Hey! I was busy… (ogling a certain someone)! _Leaving behind her more perverted part, the swordswoman leapt forward, her sword cloaked in the blazing crimson of «Vorpal Strike». Using the skill's extended range, she struck the Juggernaut before entering its reach, piercing through the Juggernaut's wrist and severing its right hand. Even as she came to a halt in front of the mountain of armor, a «Martial Arts» skill was already activating around her left fist, slamming into the Juggernaut with absurd force. A clang of metal rang out as the behemoth staggered back.

Before the skeleton could regain its balance or respond with its remaining hand, an arrow blazing with blue light slammed into its helmet, knocking it further off balance and buying enough time for Kiriko to recover and jump up, spinning around and slamming her violet-clad foot into the head of the staggering skeleton. The blow connected cleanly and, using the leverage of the monster's own height, sent it over backward. An arrow to the knee interrupted its attempt to catch itself.

With the 'ground' portion of 'ground and pound' complete, it was time for the other half, and Kiriko happily attacked the skeleton while it was down, rapidly beating its HP into nothing until it shattered.

"Isn't it a bit dumb for an archer to be alone in this dungeon? Being solo is dangerous, y'know?" Kiriko commented, straightening her coat as she got up. "You could've gotten killed, and you're cute, so that woulda been a shame."

"A bit rich coming from someone clearly solo themselves," the archer shot back, irked by both comments but not dignifying the latter with a response.

Kiriko shrugged as she double checked that she didn't get anything interesting from the «Juggernaut». Just the usual. "'Do as I say, not as I do.'" Then, with a teasing smirk, she added, "It would be unfortunate for those legs to go to waste, after all!"

"Thank you for your concern," the bluenette spat, her tone venomous.

"Gee, what's got your panties in a bunch? Want me to straighten 'em out for you?"

_Hello Glare-chan, I'm Kiriko, nice to meet you!_ The lecherous noirette thought, entirely unfazed by the other girl's glare, seemingly aimed at killing her on the spot.

Kiriko shrugged again, to herself this time, and said, "Well, good luck on your continued survival, I'll be on my way. Maybe if we ever see each other again, you'll buy me lunch for saving your life."

"Not. A. Fucking. Chance," the archer hissed.

"Aw, come on, why so cold?"

_Glare-chan, we meet again! It's been so long! I missed you!_

Kiriko laughed as she started to walk off, "Name's Kiriko! What's yours, Icy?"

"None of your business."

"Noneofyo- Eh, that's too long, I'll stick with Icy!" Kiriko blew a kiss before skipping off, her day of monotonous grinding significantly improved by the encounter with the cute, scantily-clad girl.

_Winning personality, too._

By the time Kiriko left, Sinon was just hoping that their first meeting would be their last.

A futile hope.

* * *

"Kiri-chi! How ya' been?" greeted the mousy girl as she attempted to ambush Kiriko with a hug from behind. Rather than sidestepping as she usually did, Kiriko spun around and put her foot out for Argo to 'land' on.

"_Oof_" Argo winced as she collided stomach first with the extended foot, promptly falling backwards and landing on her rear.

"Hey Argo!" Kiriko's tone matched Argo's in excitement and contained no comment on the events of moments past.

Argo, too, made no comment as she hopped up and asked, "So whatcha need?"

"Hmm, nothing much. Just wanted to know about a player."

"Oh…? That's unusual. Got a name?" Argo asked, suddenly curious.

"Her name was 'Noneofyourbusiness' or something like that. It was pretty long," Kiriko said with a shiteating grin. "I just called her 'Icy'."

_Glare-chan, are you eating well…? You're looking a bit, uh, dead(pan)?_

After a few moments, both started laughing. "I'll need *hah* a bit *hah* more *hah* to go on," Argo said through her laughter.

"Archer, blue hair, cute, not very much clothing, bit of a bitch," Kiriko said.

"I think that last one's probably your fault," Argo commented, knowing her shameless friend well enough to know that any 'bitchiness' displayed by the other girl was likely well-earned.

Which isn't to say that the icy-haired archer wasn't equally an icy queen though—she most certainly was. "Anyway, I know 'er, she's a regular. Anything else 'll cost ya'."

"How much?"

"Whaddya wanna know?" Argo says with a smirk.

"Let's start with her name and who she is."

"That'll be 3000."

_Glare-chan, you serve me now!_

"Okay, okay, 1000."

_Thank you, Glare-chan!_

"Scam artist. Deal." Kiriko produced a bag of col and handed it to the Rat.

"Her name's Sinon. As you guessed, she's an archer. She's relatively new to the frontlines, though she's been playing catch-up and helping clear dungeons since Floor 15, before then she was a midliner. She's one of the relatively few solo players and the only solo archer. You'll have to pay more for anything else. Wanna know her three sizes? Or the color of her underwear?"

"Argo, come on, you know me. I'd never buy things like that... It's way more fun to find them out on my own!" Kiriko stuck her tongue out at Argo.

"Good luck with that," Argo answered with a teasing grin.

"One more free tidbit, she'll probably be participating in the next boss meeting." Her grin turned smug at Kiriko's annoyance—she knew how much the swordswoman despised the boss meetings.

* * *

The days until the next boss meeting were filled with more of the usual for Kiriko—brutal murder of poor, innocent monsters which never did anything wrong. Of course, "innocent" is a stretch and their lack of wrongdoing is purely the result of a lack of opportunity for aforementioned activity, but that's entirely besides the point.

But her feelings as she walked towards to the gathering of Clearers, were quite unusual for Kiriko, well aside from the quite usual annoyance—an unfamiliar mix of anxiousness and anticipation-

"Well well well, if it isn't the great Black Swordswoman, finally decided to grace us with your presence?" Her musings were interrupted by a nasal voice which made her want to bleach her ears. The second-in-command of the Divine Dragons Alliance.

Well that was his title, but as his real role was as a glorified secretary who never attended the boss battles themselves, Kiriko knew little about him. However, the two main things she knew about him—his voice and cowardice—left her with a rather poor opinion of him.

Kiriko raised her fist, casually extending her middle finger without sparring a second glance to the man whose face matched his voice.

_Their combat sub-leader is much more tolerable… Schmitt, I think._

"H-hey! I'm talking to you!"

"'H-h-hey! I-I'm t-talking t-to y-you!'" Kiriko mimicked mockingly, finally facing her solicitor. "What are you? A schoolboy in front of his crush? Sorry, I won't date someone whose voice is worse than nails on a chalkboard."

The secretary's face turned red with anger as he worked his jaw, trying to find something to say. "Do- Do you have _any_ idea _who I am?!_" his voice escalating to something between a yell, a scream, and a voice crack.

"Hmm…" Kiriko hummed, placing her hand on her chin. After a moment's pause, she shakes her head slightly and says with a cheerful smile, "Nope!"

"I am the second…" he began, but by the time he'd finished striking a pose, Kiriko had already tuned him out entirely and walked away in search of more interesting company. _Like legs- sorry, Icy-non._

Moments later, Kiriko found herself addressed once more. "Kiriko. Glad you decided to join us, though I'm sure you have some ulterior motives beyond attending the meeting." The words flowed smoothly in the crimson-clad Paladin's regal, charismatic voice.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kiriko said, lifting her head dismissively.

"Really?" Heathcliff gave her a disbelieving look.

"Yes."

"I find that unlikely considering that you've seemed perfectly happy to demand the contents of the meeting 15 minutes before the boss fight the last dozen floors. Not to mention that I recall you saying something along the lines of, 'I'd rather fight the fucking floor boss on my own than show up again to one of…' and then proceeding to describe these meetings in a such a way that I do not want to relive the mental imagery it provoked by recalling it." Heathcliff delivered the quote without inflection.

"I did say that, didn't I…? If you need help recalling exactly-"

"Don't."

"I like to think that I have a way with words," Kiriko said with a teasing grin.

"That you do. So, what brings you here?"

Kiriko shrugged. "I'm looking for someone, have reason to think they'll show up."

"I'd wish you luck, but I'm mildly worried about them," Heathcliff said, a slight smirk on his lips.

"Hey!" Kiriko feigned a hurt look. "I'm hurt by the implication!"

Heathcliff just shrugged. "Well, unlike a certain freeloader, I have a boss meeting to organize. I hope that regardless of why you're here, you do pay attention."

"Have fun!" Kiriko cheerfully waved after him as he turned away.

_Stand up guy. Now, where was I… Ah, yes. Looking for Icy._

* * *

"Hello there." Sinon turned towards the voice, raising an eyebrow questioningly and gesturing to herself, silently asking, 'me?'

The chestnut-haired girl speaking nodded. "Are you a new Clearer?"

"If I am?" Sinon answered cautiously.

"Oh thank god! There's not enough girls here. I'm Asuna, lieutenant commander of the Knights of the Blood. Nice to meet you!"

"Sinon. Solo," Sinon answered with far less enthusiasm.

"You're solo at this level? I'm impressed; there's only a couple solo Clearers."

"Well, I am." Sinon's demeanor had not thawed.

"I can see why you're solo…" Asuna groaned in a strained voice, earning a small chuckle from Sinon. "Come on, there's like no other girls here! You can't just leave me alone!"

The archer's mind wandered back to her encounter in the dungeon a couple days ago. To her annoyance, she found that she'd remembered the infuriating swordswoman's name.

"What about Kiriko?"

Asuna somehow managed to choke on her saliva. "Have you actually _met_ her?" Before Sinon could answer, she added, "Besides, she hasn't shown up to boss meetings since the 25th floor."

This managed to pique Sinon's curiosity.

"Why's that?" she asked despite herself, the desire to distance herself from Kiriko battling curiosity and losing.

"Well, you know how the 25th boss went horribly wrong?"

"Approximately. I don't know specifics."

"Well, to make a long and sad story short, 19 died and many others came close. Kiriko hasn't showed up to a boss meeting since."

"Why did she stop showing up?"

"Sorry, I'm not an expert on the psychology of… her. It was something along the lines of 'I told you so.' Anyway, she doesn't really count and there really aren't enough girls on the frontline."

"W-"

"Oh? Fancy yourself an oversexualized battle android?" Kiriko commented, a satisfied grin on her face as she awaited Asuna's reaction. Whatever Sinon was going to say, Asuna never found out.

"What are you- No, wait, _when the hell did you get here!?_" Asuna exclaims.

_Definitely worth waiting._ Kiriko glanced at Sinon.

"I've been here the entire time you've been talking," Kiriko announced smugly. "Should have paid more attention to your surroundings."

Asuna just groans. "Why are you even here?"

"That's for me to know and for you to find out. Or not. I really don't care either way."

"I take it you two have some history?" Sinon asked.

Kiriko turned in response and curtseyed, disregarding the question. "Hello again, M'lady."

"What's with the sudden change in manners…?" Sinon directed a suspicious gaze at Kiriko.

"I know not what you speak of, M'lady." Neither Kiriko's face nor voice gave away a hint of mirth.

"Fuck you."

"With pleasure." Kiriko waited patiently for the second it took to sink in before adding, "M'lady."

_Hello again Glare-chan, how've you been? I didn't know you had a twin!_

"So anyway, how've you been, Icy?" Kiriko asked, cheerfully ignoring the glares directed at her by her peers.

"Better before you opened your mouth," Sinon stated dryly, "And my name's not 'Icy.'"

"That _is_ generally the case," Kiriko agreed with a sagely nod before amending her previous statement, "I meant aside from that."

Sinon—deciding that maybe humoring the swordswoman would make her less of, as Asuna put it, an annoying bitch—answered, "Bored, mostly."

"Look on the bright side! I'm entertaining!" Kiriko comments.

"I think the word you're looking for is 'infuriating'. Being bored is preferable to dealing with your shit."

"You just gotta relax a little. Like me!"

"Relax!?" Asuna interjected, "How can you say that!? We're trapped here, _fighting for our lives_, and you're telling us we should _relax_?!"

Kiriko paused for a second before letting out a snicker, unphased by Asuna's assault.

"_What_?" Asuna demanded.

"It's just," Kiriko said with another snicker, "Icy needs to warm up a little while you could really stand to cool down some. I should start calling you 'Fiery' after your temper. Maybe if you two 'mingle' it'll balance out."

Cheerfully, Kiriko began to sing, "Fiery and Icy laying in a… tree... L-I-C-K-"

"Shut. Up," Sinon commanded coldly the moment she realized where Kiriko was going, though the effect was ruined by the blush decorating her cheeks.

_Really brain? 'Laying in a tree'? That's the best you could come up with..._

"Huh?"

Two simultaneous slaps could be heard as Kiriko and Sinon face palmed Asuna's innocence in unison.

Asuna replied with a glare. "Is she serious?" Kiriko asked, feigning an incredulous tone.

"How should I know? I just met her," Sinon answered before realizing in horror a moment later that she'd just agreed with Kiriko.

"You- wha- You know what? Forget it. I asked you a question!" a flustered Asuna fumbled out.

"You did?" Kiriko questioned.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about!" Asuna exclaimed.

Kiriko paused for a moment. "Oh, you're right! You asked why I'm here. I told you already, that's a secret!" The living incarnation of insufferability said with a teasing smirk.

Asuna let out a long-suffering groan. "I swear, Kiriko, one day- one day you'll regret the way you treat people."

"That would only happen if I actually needed people for something, so… nope!" the swordswoman said confidently, "Besides, Heathcliff likes me, so I'm pretty much covered."

"Heathcliff does _not_ like you! He tolerates you at best. And, honestly, I have no idea how he does even that."

"Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better," the smug noirette said before addressing Sinon, "So anyway, Icy, wanna party up for the boss fight?"

""_What?!_"" Asuna and Sinon exclaimed in shared shock, though their reasons differed.

"Why the fuck would I party with you?" Sinon asked in genuine confusion.

"Since when do you even party with people?"

"Because I'm the strongest player in the game and being an archer is actually really bad for being solo, especially on this floor?" Kiriko supplied helpfully. "Also I'm cute and charming!"

This earned a snort from the icy archer and a startled cough from her fiery counterpart.

"Suppose for a second I accept that answer—why do _you_ want to party with me?"

"You're cute," Kiriko stated shamelessly.

"Seriously? That's it?" Asuna demanded, "You didn't want to party with _me_–"

Kiriko cut her off, "In my defense, she's wearing like half as much clothing as you."

Asuna just looked at her blankly.

"Also you're annoying."

It was Sinon's turn to choke on her own digital saliva.

"So, how much have you partied before?" the shameless hypocrite asked without breaking figurative stride.

Sinon paused. It was a perfectly reasonable question that didn't seem to be designed to irritate and infuriate. Which was highly suspicious.

"Why…?" Sinon asked warily.

"Well, if we're gonna be partying we need to coordinate, so I need to know how much experience you have and what I need to teach you." Kiriko's answer seemed perfectly reasonable and earnest.

"That makes sense. Though how would _you_ teach me? From what Asuna says, you're not exactly known for partying with people."

"Believe it or not, Asuna's not all-knowing." A teasing smirk graced the soloist's features.

Sinon gave her a pointed look. "She may not be all-knowing, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out you don't party with anyone."

"I'm still here, you know!" Asuna interjected…

… and was entirely ignored. "You're not wrong, I suppose, except the part where you are."

_Glare-chan, you seem to be really close friends with Icy!_

Needless to say, Kiriko was unfazed by Sinon's icy glare.

"I actually do occasionally party, it's just not public knowledge."

"Why do you party with _them_?" Sinon questioned suspiciously.

"What, is Icy jealous?" Kiriko teased.

The girl in question had the good sense to not grace the teasing with an answer, biting down her denial.

Pouting, Kiriko repeated, "So what's your experience in parties?"

Before Sinon could answer, Heathcliff's amplified voice boomed across the plaza, "Alright, quiet down! We're already a bit behind schedule and it seems most people have arrived, so let's get started."

"Well, that's my cue, gotta run. Nice meeting you, Sinon," Asuna said, running off to join Heathcliff.

"Well, guess we'll figure it out later." Kiriko shrugged before sending Sinon a party invite, which she thoughtlessly accepted. "I hate these meetings so I'm gonna run too!"

With those words, Kiriko vanished into the crowd and then, presumably, out of it, leaving Sinon to realize that…


	2. I'm very hard to kill

**So, chapter 2 actually happened. Go me...!**

**Anyway, features: Kiriko acting like herself, Kiriko acting like a human being, Sinon having reactions other than ever-increasing frustration, some woefully underprepared monsters, and a pointlessly fancy drink.**

**Next chapter hopefully at some point in the future. I'm vaguely aiming for within the next month, but this would be basically unprecedented speed and has no real basis. Still, I'm happy that I managed to pick up a story after about a year without actually writing anything for it and more or less keep writing.**

**Additionally, I now realize that I had already posted something in the last year, namely "Awake, At Last", so there was technically no need to post the first chapter of this on December 31st. That's largely what motivated me to keep writing it though, so all's well that ends well, I guess.**

**Additionally squared, it turns out my FFN notifications are broken and this story actually has a whole bunch of followers and favorites, which it would have been nice if I knew earlier because it would have probably motivated me to write, so: To the followers and favorite...ers?, thank you and enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 2: I'm very hard to kill**

_After the boss meeting ends, meet me at «Map Location» so we can work out our party tactics. -Kiriko_

Sinon looked at the message in party chat and felt a conundrum. She'd never actually said she was going to party with Kiriko, but she had implicitly agreed by accepting the party invitation, and at this point it would be going back on her commitment to just tell her to fuck off…

She also wasn't _entirely_ sure she didn't want to party with Kiriko. Just mostly. At least Kiriko was strong.

Opening the attached location, she found it to be next to the dungeon-facing edge of their current town, though the map didn't provide more accurate information. With a deep sigh, she opened the keyboard and typed out a message.

_Okay_

So it wasn't the most profound or elegant message, but whatever, it did the job. Feeling a headache coming on, she pressed send and turned her attention back to the boss meeting.

* * *

Kiriko sipped a ridiculously fancy but adequately palatable drink as she balanced her chair on two legs. Unlike some bars with provisions for bar fights, the furniture in this establishment consisted entirely of «Immortal Objects». The NPC waitresses and customers paid her no mind—while fairly life-like while conversing with you, they almost completely lacked situational awareness and wouldn't engage you unless you triggered them.

The players shot her rude behavior some looks but nobody bothered confronting her about it. She wouldn't have cared if they did.

Despite her quite carefree appearance, she was actually quite excited and a bit giddy—it was an unfamiliar but not unwelcome feeling and it put her in a good mood.

She hadn't been waiting here for the entire duration of the boss meeting, of course—spending over an hour sitting in a cafe would have been rather boring… _How have I never bothered to find out if SAO has fun books available…?_ In the past hour, she'd committed the wholesale slaughter of the local population of «Direblood Wolves» and finally ticked over to level 63, nearly 15 levels above the Clearer average.

The front legs of her chair made contact with the ground, making a sharp *clack* sound as she saw Sinon approaching and waved. Sinon approached without returning the wave, curtly taking a seat across from Kiriko.

After a moment's silence, Sinon finally broke. "Alright, I give in. What the hell are you drinking?"

"This?" Kiriko asked, raising her layered, colorful drink with a healthy variety of decorations sticking out of the top, including, but not limited to, some sort of whipped cream-shaped jello, a gradient of citrus slices, and a colorful tube (separate from the straw).

"Yes, that."

"I haven't the foggiest idea, it was the most expensive drink on the menu and I was curious."

Sinon could only nod. Numerous factors of the game's economy, from inflation to the inherent lack of worth, or rather, cost of a drink compared to anything with mechanical bonuses made it rather pointless to save on curiosity for someone like Kiriko, or even Sinon herself.

"It looks ridiculous."

"It does." Kiriko agreed. "Tastes rather bland, considering how it looks. Not too bad, but the colors are just for show, the taste is the same all the way through. A bunch of fruits mixed with some gin."

"Gin? You're drinking alcohol _now_?" 'Now', implying the fact that they were about to go practice, presumably.

Kiriko flexes a finger on her left hand, showing off a wooden band with dull green veins of crystal. Sinon recognized it as a fairly common ring from a couple floors back. 'Common' in the sense that a lot of them had been farmed because of their extreme usefulness on that floor. They were quite a rare drop.

"A ring of poison resistance?"

"As far as the game sees it, alcohol is a poison. And a weak one at that, so the ring negates it completely," the noirette explained.

"Order whatever you want, it's on me."

Sinon briefly considered testing how committed to _whatever_ Kiriko was and ordering everything on the menu, but struck it down after concluding that Kiriko could probably afford it without flinching.

Then she remembered why she'd come—certainly not to have lunch with the lecherous minx, strangely well-behaved as she was at the moment.

"I assumed we were just meeting here. Practicing teamwork seems more effective with some enemies." Sinon said, putting some ice into her voice.

"Well, I assume we need to discuss first," Kiriko answered with a shrug.

"We can do that on the way."

"Fine," Kiriko exhaled. Taking a couple more gulps of her drink, she tossed it over her shoulder.

Sinon gaped at her, "What are you-"

Her words were cut off by the sound of glass breaking, "-doing?"

A moment later, there's a second sound of shattering, similar but quieter and slightly different. Kiriko just grinned smugly until Sinon realized that the glass and remaining drink alike had vanished without a trace.

"Let's get going," Kiriko said, rising from her chair.

"Going where?" Sinon asked as she stood from her own chair.

"To practice."

"Where _physically_?" she groaned out in exasperation.

"There's a decently difficult dungeon nearby that should be empty," Kiriko replied, unperturbed.

"Two questions: First, is it 'decently difficult' by normal standards or yours, and second, _why_ should it be empty?"

"My standards to the first," Kiriko answered, "and because I don't think anyone else knows about it for the second."

"I'm a little worried about what you consider difficult, given your planet-sized ego…"

"When I said 'decently difficult', I meant 'I need to pay some attention,' not 'this is challenging,'" Kiriko explained.

"Why are you bothering with this anyway? You yourself said you were only partying with me because you think I'm 'cute-'" Sinon blushed faintly- "so why are you bothering with trying to make us a good party?"

"Hey, even I have some standards—you're a member of my party, so your life is my responsibility. It's part of why I rarely party with people; I don't want to be responsible for idiots."

"My life is my own responsibility and I've been doing just fine," Sinon snapped.

"Sure, sure, but it's still my responsibility to do my best to keep you alive, just like it's yours to try to keep me alive." Then she confidently added, "Not that that should be necessary."

"You're awfully confident."

"Of course I am," Kiriko stated as if it were a matter of fact.

"Why?"

"Because I'm me!" Kiriko said proudly, as if it was an explanation.

Sinon groaned. "What about being you justifies thinking that boss fights don't pose a threat to you?"

"Because I'm the very best, like no one ever was?" Kiriko's teasing, smug grin made Sinon want to induce blunt trauma. The archer took a deep breath to steady herself.

"Say, do you think your insufferable attitude constitutes assault by the system's metrics?" she contemplated.

"You're actually not the first person who's wondered that. Surprising, I know. Turns out, the answer's 'no'. But we're in a safe zone, so even though it doesn't, you'd be alright," the black-clad girl's reply came in a matching, wondering tone.

"I see." Sagely nodding her acknowledgement, Sinon swung her a fist at Kiriko's smug mug. The damned girl didn't flinch as the blow glanced off a violet barrier with a loud ring, inches from her face.

"Well, we haven't got all day, so let's get going. Well, I guess we do have all of today and tomorrow... and all night too if you're up for that, but no point in wasting time," the swordswoman turned to head out of the cafe.

"Yo-" The icy girl aborted her ill fated retort, instead sighing deeply. She moved to follow, wondering what she'd signed herself up for and ignoring the looks her sudden violence had earned.

Kiriko glanced behind herself to ensure her temporary partner was in tow before lengthening her stride and making for the edge of town. A few moments later, the aforementioned partner had caught up. "Let's jog," Kiriko offered, "I _was_ serious when I said we shouldn't waste time."

"I didn't realize you were capable of that," Sinon intoned dryly.

"Excuse you, I'm perfectly able to be serious." Mock hurt decorated her face for a second. The other girl remained unimpressed.

"I think the phrase you're looking for is 'excuse _me_, for being an intentionally infuriating bitch.'"

"You're excused," Kiriko chirped, using that moment to treat the conversation as tacit approval and accelerate.

"Yo- Damni- Arrgggh," Sinon's response devolved into a wordless, frustrated groan and she hesitated for a moment before she jogged to catch up. Centering herself once more, she decided that the approach of trying to out-snark Kiriko was futile.

They moved in silence for a minute before she finally spoke. "You never did answer Asuna's question."

Kiriko raised an eyebrow. Not that Sinon could see. "Which one?"

"How can you take this so lightly? And don't give me some bullshit answer or wave me off. I want a straight answer or I'm leaving this party and heading back to town."

After a moment's deliberation, Kiriko came to a conclusion. _Well, it doesn't hurt to answer truthly._

"Ah, that. I think that's a bit of a mischaracterization, don't you?"

"Oh? Please, elucidate," the archer prompted, her tone suspicious.

"Well, you say I'm taking this lightly, but am I really? I'm the strongest player in the game, barring possibly our dear Heathcliff, I suppose. How does that fit into me 'taking this lightly?'"

Sinon didn't reply and, for once merciful, the swordswoman continued.

"I take seriously what I need to take seriously and I relax when I can. The way I see it, when you're so busy trying to _stay_ alive that you forget that you _are_, you've already lost. I refuse."

Sinon slowed to a stop. Kiriko followed suit a moment later, "What? I answered your question, didn't I?"

"Yeah… I'm just surprised, I guess." She shook her head lightly. _Huh. Even cuter like that than normal._

Kiriko huffed indignantly, "I told you. I'm perfectly capable of being serious!"

"Clearly not for more than 15 contiguous seconds."

"I told you, serious when I need to be. Come on, let's go."

Quickly catching up to the noirette, Sinon decided to try her luck, since Kiriko seemed in a sharing mood, "Why are you so infuriating? It's obviously intentional, so… why?"

Kiriko smiled brightly and Sinon's budding hopes shattered. "It's fun; I can't help myself!"

She turned off the path. "Shortcut," she supplied and her sword lashed out to clear the brambles, creating a path narrow enough that Sinon was forced to follow behind.

* * *

Traveling in silence, it didn't take long to reach their destination, a small hill with a cave in it.

They stopped at the entrance and Kiriko manipulated her menu, a silver tiara appearing on her brow. A moment later, an orb of brilliance formed at the front before lifting off to circle above her head.

"Do you have any source of light that doesn't require your hands? This place is dark."

Shaking her head, the bluenette barely caught an identical tiara thrown to her. "Looks good on you," Kiriko commented as the other girl settled it on her head and a matching light went up.

"How come you have multiple? I can't imagine you often have need for more than one."

Kiriko turned back into the tunnel. "They were a decently common drop from some guys I farmed for other reasons a couple floors ago. I have a bunch I just haven't gotten around to selling yet. Feel free to keep it, though you can buy me dinner when we're done here, if you really wanna pay me back."

"I don't."

Sinon looked around curiously as she followed her partner into the depths. The walls showed no indication of tool-using inhabitants, though a stream ran along the floor.

"So, what should I expect from the monsters here?"

Kiriko looked back towards the other girl. _I guess we do need to strategize, at some point._

"Much like the floor dungeon, it's mostly skeletons, though it's a bit nastier. There are archers and revenants along with the usual ensemble. The archers are pretty self-explanatory. Revenants, while normally tough, might actually be good for you, seeing as their ghostly flesh makes them more vulnerable to slashing and piercing."

"I guess there's something to your claims about being serious when necessary," Sinon huffed in amusement, "I take it my primary target should be the archers?"

"Bingo. Once there are no archers, target..." Kiriko paused to consider, _"_whatever's behind me. Prioritize things close to you though. If you think there's something that'll catch me by surprise, it won't, but it doesn't hurt to tell me. If you're in trouble, just holler."

"I'll be fine."

"True as that may or may not be, it's called _teamwork_. You're an archer, so you do archer things and leave the smashing to me." A lascivious grin graced her lips. "Then again, if you wanna smash, I'm down for that too."

_Ah, Glare-chan, it's been a while._

After a few moments of concentrated fire, Sinon closed her eyes and sighed.

"Oh, here we are." Soon, Kiriko came to a stop as the thin tunnel opened into broader caverns, the white light of their tiaras reflecting off pools and trickling waterfalls. Stalactites clung tightly to the ceiling, hanging down to meet with stalagmites standing mighty to form pillars supporting the domes of the ceiling. The cavern slowly stepped downwards, allowing the water to keep descending with it.

In the dim distance, unnaturally illuminated by their light sources which seemed entirely disinterested in obeying the inverse-square law, they could see a sizable patrolling group of skeletons. Sinon pulled an arrow from her quiver.

"See those guys?" Kiriko gestured.

"I'm the archer," the archer deadpanned in response.

"Right, well, let's go kill them. Follow the plan."

"Ah, yes. The 'plan.'" Sinon's voice was drier than the Sahara.

Kiriko recoiled in offense, "Hey, it's a perfectly good plan! While I'd be happy to develop better ones, we'd need to spend much more time mingling to get a sufficiently good grasp on each- of each other for anything meaningful."

"Right, right. I see 3 archers and half a dozen warriors. Nothing that seems to have 'ghostly flesh.'"

"I can hear those air quotes, and I believe them to be entirely unjust. I've done nothing to deserve them. Trust me, you'll know it when you see it. They're almost as radiant as your thighs."

"It's not my fucking fault that these shorts are both good gear and take up the leg 'armor' spot."

Looking up towards the sky, Kiriko gave a thumbs-up. "Thanks Kayaba!"

"Really?" Sinon gave Kiriko a disbelieving look.

"I mean, yes, he trapped ten thousand people and is already directly responsible for the murder of thousands, making him a detestable ammoral human being, _but_ have you considered: _legs_."

"Kiriko. Genuine honest question: How has nobody murdered you yet?"

"Ah, well, that one's easy. I'm very hard to kill. Now come on, the same can't be said for those skeletons."

Drawing her sword, Kiriko picked up a rock from the ground and promptly dropped it, realizing that she was accompanied by an archer. "I'm filled with confidence," Sinon remarked.

"Well, shoot one."

With a chuckle, Sinon raised her bow, drew, and loosed the arrow in a single fluid motion, sending the emerald projectile on a graceful arc. The skeleton archer's HP vanished as its head practically exploded. The rest soon followed, reduced to glittering shards.

The swordswoman leapt forward, crossing closing the distance to the skeletons in seconds. A warrior moved in her path. Crimson light wreathed the black steel in her hand and the skill flashed past the unliving obstacle's shoulder. True to the skill's name, the target, a skeleton archer, was reduced to self sans head.

The warrior's sword fell towards her raised arm. Before it could hit, an arrow kissed the rusty metal like a boxer kisses a sex offender, deflecting the blow harmlessly.

The seconds bought were enough for Kiriko to smash her sword through the skeleton's weapon arm, shattering it first into shards and then into polygons. A return stroke sent the lightly armored skeleton staggering back.

The last skeleton archer took aim at the swordswoman and Sinon fired again; the arrow staggered it, disrupting its attempt and knocking off a chunk of its HP. A second, third, and fourth shot followed rapidly, slamming rhythmically into the skeleton's forehead.

Leaving the last skeleton archer to the friendly archer… okay, maybe not friendly, but at least the one with the nicer legs, Kiriko moved on to the remaining skeletons. Lightly armored as they were, her sword quickly disassembled them with machine precision.

Sinon, amusingly enough, served almost as a tank, her shots aimed primarily at the swords of attacking skeletons, striking their ends with uncanny precision for max leverage. Without worrying about defense, it took barely a minute for Kiriko to reduce the skeletons to bonemeal.

"Though you don't seem to appreciate my compliments much, damn that was some nice shooting," she commented as she rejoined the archer.

"That's because your 'compliments' are you being a lecherous pervert. And thanks, I suppose, since that's an actual compliment."

"Technically speaking, a pervert is someone with unusual sexual tastes or whatever; I'm not really perverted, I'd say, I'm just… open."

"Yeah, fuck you."

"With pleasure."

"You already used that one."

"Still applies." Kiriko paused. "You know, for a solo player, you're pretty good at this whole partying thing; since I answered your serious question, you owe me to tell me why you're solo."

"Yeah, no, being serious for 5 seconds doesn't earn you anything," Sinon huffed, "Why don't_ you_ party with people?"

Kiriko shrugged. "You'll be disappointed. There's a couple reasons and none of them particularly exciting. As I told you, if I'm in a party with someone, they're my responsibility, and I don't particularly like that. Additionally, I find people annoying, people find me annoying, though I can't imagine why, and I level faster this way."

"Your turn now: why're _you _solo?"

Sinon grimaced. "As much as it causes me physical pain to admit, my reasons are much the same as yours."

"Especially the 'people find you annoying' part, I'm sure!" Kiriko chimed happily.

"Fuck you."

"With-"

"No."

* * *

**See, I promised Kiriko would act like a human.**

**Please review if you have criticism (I like to improve), praise (please feed my ego), or hate (as mentioned in the notes last chapter, I will screenshot it and laugh at you).**

**Also, I'm curious what portion of this story's followers are my account followers from back when I wrote Rangers.**

**If you are, please let me know, because as mentioned, I'm curious.**

**Also thanks for reading all my stuff all this time. The people who read the utter shitshow that was Rangers are probably the only reason I still write now. Given that I was absolute shit at writing, I suspect you also played a significant role in my getting into a good college, so thanks! :D**


	3. You look cute with whiskers

**It only took me like a month and a half this time to update :D (I definitely haven't had this chapter like 95% done for the last two weeks. No sir! The key scene of the bonus did not have me completely stumped.)**

**Some actually semi-important notes this time.**

**I rewrote some bits of the earlier chapters, though the only things worth nothing:**

**If you read chapter 1 and 2 before June 25th, 2020:**

**In chapter 1, I made Asuna slightly less dismissive of the events of floor 25. No need to reread it, but it felt worth noting that the change was made.**

**In chapter 2, I completely scrapped the last couple lines (y'know, the edgy backstory ones :P). Sinon's implied **_**extra**_** tragic past has been removed as well, and the new version is just Sinon biting back at Kiriko a little. I'd suggest you reread it, since it's significant and literally like 8 lines, but it's not strictly necessary.**

**Aside from that, no promises for when ch4 comes out, but hopefully not too long. There's a bonus at the end of this chapter because I felt like it and the main part was a little short otherwise.**

**Finally, you'll notice I've decided to name the chapters. Chapters 1 and 2 are named "Wanna party with me?" and "I'm very hard to kill" respectively.**

* * *

**Chapter 3: You look cute with whiskers**

Having naturally woken up almost an hour prior to their planned meeting, Sinon had ended up reading while she waited. After all, an hour was hardly enough time to go out, kill things, and come back. Kiriko, on the other hand…

"Good morn..." the words trailed off into a yawn and the swordswoman took a small bite of the sandwich in her hand. It was… different.

"Good morning," Sinon paused before asking, "Not a morning person?"

"Mornings are evil." The answer lacked Kiriko's normal sarcastic and mocking tone, delivered with sleepy determination. She plopped down on the bench next to Sinon and took another bite.

_She's actually kinda cute... Also, how did I notice how short she was before?_

Despite her normally domineering presence, Sinon realized, the black-clad girl was actually almost a head shorter than her.

After 30 seconds of Kiriko quietly munching the sandwich, she finally spoke up, "Are you fucking with me?"

"Hmm?" Kiriko quirked her head.

"We've been interacting for nearly a minute and you still haven't made a single innuendo or lewd comment."

"Oh." The noirette shook her head. "Just sleepy."

"Huh. I think I like you a lot more when you're sleepy."

"Well, if we slept together-"

"I retract my previous statement," Sinon deadpanned.

"I couldn't not," Kiriko said with an adorable giggle, "I'm sorry."

Sinon exhaled a deep sigh. "You're not."

"I'm not," she admitted with another giggle, taking a final bite of her sandwich and licking her fingers.

Shaking her head, the archer asked, "Let's go?"

"Mhm," her partner nodded, hopping onto her feet, "Let's go get you the Martial Arts skill."

"Let's." Sinon stood up, following the shorter girl to the gate.

As they stepped onto the ornate stone, the other girl grabbed Sinon's elbow and spoke, "Teleport Urbus."

A flare of blue-edged light shrouded them, erasing the world in a curtain of white. It lasted several seconds before dissipating to reveal the crater city of the second floor.

With a moment of hesitation, she released Sinon's arm.

They walked in silence out of the city. Kiriko paused as they crested the crater's lip, revealing the mountainous savana of the second floor, lit by the sunrise coming between the layers.

"Reminds me of the first day," she commented after a few moments, a wistful note in her voice as she gazed upon the beautiful view.

"Oh?" Sinon questioned, pulling the girl from her brief reverie.

Kiriko started down the hill, "On the first day, as I was heading out of the city, some newbie, observant enough to figure out I knew what I was doing, followed me. He asked me to help him out- I think he's a masochist- and eventually convinced me. After a day of farming, we watched his first sunset in the virtual world."

"What happened to him?" Sinon asked warily.

"I ditched him after the announcement. He had guildmates to look after and I wasn't willing to take 6 people with me," Kiriko said with a hint of remorse.

"Oh… do you know if he's alive?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, he's like my best friend aside from Argo," came the cheeky reply, "You might have seen him, since his guild is on the frontline. A bunch of samurai wannabes?"

"And here I almost thought you actually felt bad for ditching him," Sinon said. _Guess she's waking up. Oh well, it was nice while it lasted._

"Oh I did. Still do, to some extent. _He_ didn't care very much though. He was more upset by the fact that I kneed him in the balls when he tried to flirt with me."

"That seems… I dunno, reasonable to be upset about, even if somewhat justified?"

"SAO has minimal pain," Kiriko deadpanned, "Though for him, it's apparently 'force of habit.'"

Sinon tilted her head in confusion before letting out an "oh" as she realized what Kiriko was implying. "I can imagine why you would get along."

"Hey!" Kiriko exclaimed, "I take offense to that! I have never been kneed in the balls for unsolicited advances."

Sinon rolled her eyes. After a momentary pause, she replied, "Only punched in the face, yes."

"Technically," Kiriko defended herself, "that was for my wit, not my charm."

"Is that better?"

"Um… I think so?"

The icy-haired girl quirked an eyebrow. "Well, I suppose just being an annoying bitch _is_ better than being a sex offender, so you're probably right."

* * *

It didn't take the two players long to reach their destination, the summit of a tall mountain. After all, scaling a mountain isn't that hard when you're strong enough to do a pullup with a single finger, and the 2nd floor's monsters posed even less of a challenge.

A small hut stood on one end of the long plateau, while the other bore the weight of 3 massive, egg-shaped boulders, each a good head taller than the bluenette.

"The quest NPC should be in the house," Kiriko commented.

"What? Really?" her fairer counterpart delivered in a monotone voice.

"I know it's hard to believe, but it's true."

"It really is unbelievable, but I guess I'll trust you. Let's check it out then."

Surprising nobody, the monk-like NPC came out of the house as they approached.

"Greetings." His piercing eyes regarded each of them before settling on Kiriko. "I see you have made good progress in mastering the arts."

_I get that it's based on Skill level, but my immersion is _completely_ broken._

His gaze turned back to Sinon, scrutinizing her before asking, "Are you here to learn?"

With a brief moment of hesitation (no doubt from yesterday, where she'd managed to drag out of Kiriko that there was some sort of consequence to accepting), Sinon nodded. "Yes."

Quicker than even their trained reflexes could follow, the monk reached within his robe, pulled out a vial and a brush, closed the distance between them, and painted 6 swift strokes onto the bluenette's cheeks. Better still, he made them match her hair color.

By the time Sinon's jaw dropped in incredulous shock, he was already back in his original place with no sign of his heroic deed.

_Glare-chan, you've returned! They look great on her, don't you agree?_

The icy archer leveled a glare at Kiriko's beaming grin. After several seconds, she pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath.

"They will not come off until you destroy your boulder. I will show you how. Follow me." After his command, the master turned and swiftly strode towards the boulders positioned on the other end of the plateau.

Shooting another glare at Kiriko, Sinon moved to follow. "It's not like it's my fault. Besides, be more positive! You look really cute with whiskers!"

A faint pink decorated whiskered cheeks before she turned away.

As they approached the boulders, the monk gestured to the farthest. "Your task is to break that. Like this."

He took position in front of the nearest, feet set firmly into a wide, square stance. With shoulders set, he rotated his body while extending his arm in one blistering motion. His fist smashed into the rock with a thunderous crack. Jagged lines flashed across the surface one moment; the next, it exploded into rubble.

Kiriko let out a laugh as Sinon stared in shock. She shook her head a moment later, composing herself. "How the hell am I supposed to do that!?" _Mostly_ composing herself.

"There's a trick to it," Kiriko commented, materializing a picnic blanket from her inventory.

"Something tells me you don't expect me to find it soon."

"Do you want me to tell you the answer?" Kiriko teased in response.

"No."

The archer chucked her fist at the rock in a half-hearted blow. Pulling up the info window revealed that it had taken a single point of durability. Out of a million.

"How long did this take you?"

"A couple minutes to solve the puzzle, 15 to finish the quest," came the answer, utterly smug.

"Oh good. You'll make fun of me regardless."

"Let's be real here, that would have been true no matter what."

With yet another sigh, Sinon commented, "I'm not sure if your self-awareness makes you more or less of an annoyance."

"Definitely more."

"You could sound less proud of that, you know. It's not a good thing."

"Well, it's intentional, so whether it's a 'good' or 'bad' thing, I can still be proud of accomplishing my goals."

"That makes an annoying amount of sense," Sinon admitted, "It also makes _you_ a bitch. I'm going to try to do this quest and get rid of these stupid whiskers, so you can shut up and maybe use the time to rethink your goals."

"I'll have plenty of time~" Kiriko teased. "And don't call the whiskers stupid. They look good."

"Also, I must ask, since the whiskers changed to match your dyed hair…" she gave Sinon a smile, "Does the carpet match the drapes?"

"Hmm?" Sinon let out a confused hum, piecing together the meaning. Blood rushed to her cheeks.

"Why would yo-! Fuck you! And no, don't do that again! It's not funny or clever!"

Blinking a few times in surprise, Kiriko burst out laughing. "Oh- oh my god- that reaction was way better- way better than I hoped!" she managed to get out.

It took a good 15 seconds for her laughter to peter out, during which Sinon's indignance diffused into annoyance. "It wasn't _that_ funny."

"Was that a yes?"

The archer clenched her fist, her eyebrow twitching. She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes instead. After several seconds of deep breathing she answered in a level voice, "No comment."

"Oh well," the swordswoman shrugged in response, "I'll find out eventually."

"No," Sinon's statement was absolute, "You won't."

_Glare-chan! Glad to have you back!_

* * *

Having learned her lesson from yesterday's waiting, Kiriko had dedicated a fraction of last night to purchasing some books to pass time, a decision that was paying dividends now. Without any external stimuli, their banter had died down, leaving Kiriko with nothing to do for the past hour and a half.

Well, except read on her picnic blanket and, of course, listen to Sinon's increasingly frustrated comments as the rock failed to yield to her blows.

"Just. Fucking. Break. Already!" each word was punctuated with a sloppy, if forceful, blow thrown against the boulder.

Kiriko glanced up and giggled, "Have you checked the durability recently."

The would-be martial artist sent a glare in return.

A swipe of her hand suggested she did just that. A deep sigh suggested that the progress wasn't promising.

"Alright. What's the answer?"

"Giving up?"

With a moment of hesitation, Sinon resigned herself to her fate. "Yes. My impatience has overwhelmed my pride."

Kiriko let out a hum and hopped to her feet. "Fair enough."

"What are you reading?"

"This?" Kiriko waved the book in her hand before despelling it into her inventory. "It's a calculus textbook."

Sinon gave her a disbelieving look.

"Hey, I have plans for after I get out. I figured I could use the refresher. It's definitely hard to get into the math thought patterns again."

"Are you… actually serious?"

Kiriko gave Sinon a deadpan look. "Is it that hard to imagine me studying?"

"First, we're in a fucking _death game_, where our survival depends on martial abilities, so I wouldn't expect _anyone_ to be studying, and second, yes. Yes, it is."

"I'm actually hurt," Kiriko deadpanned.

"It sure doesn't sound like it."

"I have a hard time showing my real emotions. It's why I substitute overly dramatic fake ones."

"Uh-huh." Sinon did not sound impressed.

"You don't believe me."

With a reluctant sigh, the bluenette returned the conversation to its original track. "I want to get out here. What's the trick?"

"The NPC's exact words were to destroy it 'like this' before demonstrating. So follow his demonstration, don't just punch the rock," as she explained, she walked over to the rock and mimicked the stance the monk had taken earlier, miming a blow before returning to her natural posture.

"That's… okay, yeah that makes a lot of sense actually," Sinon acknowledged, "To get the Martial Arts skill, I need to master a martial art motion."

"Yep! Check the durability after every blow to start with to see how close you are and refine your form," Kiriko added, "That's how I did it."

"No teasing? You're just going to give me the answer?"

"As cute as those whiskers are, I don't want to spend all day here. Besides, I was distracted by my studying and forgot," she admitted.

"You should study more." The archer turned back to her rock, this time taking the appropriate stance. Her punch, still imperfect but much closer to the original motion. Checking the rock, she saw it had finally dropped by a substantial amount in one blow. If 80 out of a million could be called substantial.

"This is still… uh…"

Kiriko glanced up from her resummoned book. "It's inversely proportional to the 'distance' between your motion and the perfect one. As you get closer, the damage will increase very quickly."

Then she added, "Fun fact, if nobody is taking the quest, anyone can damage the rocks. If you use the Martial Art which you unlock through this, your motion is exactly right and somewhere in the code, it gets capped from zero distance to min float or something. Since durability damage isn't capped to target durability like health damage, the rock's durability went to minus ten to three hundred or something for a single frame before it broke. I haven't found a use for this yet, but thought it was neat."

"That's interesting, I guess."

Kiriko watched as the other girl went back to punching the rock, following her motions as she settled into a pattern. Her body moved rhythmically as she repeatedly struck the rock and… _Damn she's hot._

Someone less shameless may have averted their eyes, but Kiriko felt no such impulse. Or rather, she willfully ignored it, choosing instead to continue observing her… crush? That's what it was, presumably. It was largely unfamiliar. _Should I try to be nicer? Would that just be weird at this point? And her reactions are too much fun._

Besides, Sinon seemed to enjoy the riposts, to some extent at least.

It was only a couple more minutes of refinement before cracks started to appear on the rock. Soon, bits started flying off: first small chips, then increasingly large chunks- one of which bounced off Kiriko's head.

"Ow."

A chuckle escaped Sinon's lips before escalating into full blown laughter.

-until eventually a loud _crack_ echoed out as the stone exploded into fragments.

"Fucking _finally!_"

"Congratulations!"

"Holy shit!" Sinon jumped, spinning around to face the quest NPC who had materialized behind her to offer his congratulations. Much like at the start of the quest, his hand whipped out impossible fast, using a cloth to wipe the whiskers from her face- "Aww…"- before bowing to her.

"You have completed the task I set for you. You are ready."

Sinon glanced away from him, no doubt to the window announcing her quest reward.

"Alright, probably won't be much use in the boss fight, but for the future, let's go get you used to fisting things," Kiriko commented, lewd as ever.

After a moment's pause, she added, "Wait. Fuck. I'm starting to regret my choices," her tone as teasing as ever.

"Eh…?" A moment of realization crossed Sinon's features.

"Damn it, Kiriko!"

* * *

**Meanwhile, the Princess and the Rat**

Argo knocked on the door to Asuna's house. Several seconds later, it swung open to reveal the house's owner.

"Heya A-chan!" she greeted cheerfully.

The frazzled girl stood in silence for a couple seconds before her mind finally caught up. "Argo? What are you doing here?"

"Thought I'd drop by! Mind if I come in?"

"Ah, welcome, yeah. I'm just going over the plans for tomorrow again."

She stepped aside and politely gestured her guest inside, closing the door behind her and leading her into the house.

"Decided to check in on you. It's been a while."

Sitting back on the fluffy couch that occupied her living room, Asuna sent the cheerful infobroker a tired smile and nodded. "It has."

"Ready to kick some boss ass tomorrow?"

The raid commander let out a long sigh, slumping forward. "As ready as ever."

"What's up A-chan?" the Rat asked, concerned, as she plopped herself down on the couch next to Asuna.

"It's the other Knights I'm more worried about. One hadn't turned in his gear checklist by last night like he was supposed to and I had to go reprimand him. Turned out he wasn't even prepared. At this point he's bordering on being kicked out and I really don't want to have to do that. Then there's a couple reports of people abusing their positions to bully people in and out of the guild and others of just misbehaving during dungeon runs…"

Argo placed a comforting hand on her back. "The work of royalty never stops, eh?"

"Come on, Argo. I'm not 'royalty,'" the regal girl complained even as she leaned into the touch.

"You're my princess!" the her mousy counterpart declared cheerfully, "Besides, you've definitely got the talent for it. Not to mention the looks."

A blush dusted the Lightning Flash's cheeks at the compliment. "Talent? I feel like everything's falling apart and nobody is taking anything seriously. People are slacking off and goofing around and then there's people like Kiriko..." her words trailed off into a frustrated groan.

"To be fair to the Black Swordswoman, she's definitely pulling her own weight."

Asuna stiffened at the sudden contact as the other girl wrapped her in a sideways hug, relaxing a few moments later. "People- even you- can't work forever," Argo's tone more serious now, "You shouldn't be so harsh on them. After this boss is dead, throw a party or something."

Her seriousness broke with a flash of her trademark smirk. "If nothing else, seeing you in a dress will be a great morale boost."

"Argo!" she protested, face flushing red.

"It's true~ Certainly would be for me, anyway. But I'm serious about having a proper break."

"I know. It's just… every day we spend trapped here is a day lost in the real world."

"What's the difference between a party here and a party outside? Wait until floor 40 or something if you have to, but you can't keep pushing forever without a break."

With a reluctant sigh, Asuna agreed. "I'll bring it up with Heathcliff. Was there a specific reason you came?"

"Do I need a reason?" the Rat teased.

"Argo…"

"Because if so, I guess I'll have to go now," she added, releasing the hug and moving to stand.

"W-wait! I wasn't saying that, just…"

"Sorry, sorry, I'm teasing. But this _is_ just a social call. I figured you might be overworking yourself before the boss fight."

"It's my responsibility to be prepared. Anyway, I'm fine."

"You're obviously exhausted and as you said, you're as ready as you'll get. When was the last time you ate?"

"Hunger is just uncomfortable anyway in SAO…"

"That's not an answer," Argo said, eying the girl intently.

"Uh… last night?" Asuna muttered, "I think."

Argo stood, tugging on Asuna's arm. "Come on. Let's eat dinner."

"But… Alright." She allowed herself to be pulled to her feet. "I have some food, though… it's not the best."

"While I'm happy to eat _anything_ you feed me," Argo declared cheerfully, "I brought dinner!"

"Oh. Thanks." Nodding an acknowledgement, Asuna led the way towards the dining room.

"Always, for my lovely Princess!"

Asuna shook her head with a sigh as they entered the small dining room. Gesturing to one of two chairs at the table, she asked, "Should I get you anything?"

"A-chan, I told you: I brought food. No need to play hostess."

With a series of practiced gestures from Argo, a stack of definitely-not-cardboard boxes appeared on the table. "You like curry, right?"

For the first time today, Asuna lit up with a beaming grin. "Yes!"

With a smile at Asuna's approval, Argo served the food on materialized plates. "Enjoy!"

They dug in happily, Argo stealing glances as they ate in silence.

Asuna let out a satisfied sigh as she finished up the meal, all but licking the plate clean.

"Mhm, Argo?" she said pensively.

"Hmm?"

"Thanks." Asuna gave her a heart-fluttering, blush inducing smile.

"Thanks." Asuna gave her a heart-fluttering, blush inducing smile.

"It's no big deal… Just some food..." The bashful tone stood in sharp contrast to the Rat's normal flirtatious behavior.

Asuna shook her head. "Not just that. You're always looking out for me..."

The Rat shrugged in response, "I look out for a lot of people."

Asuna gave her a skeptical look. "I've seen the way you deal with people, Argo."

"So you already know I like to play favorites then," Argo replied, the words hesitant.

"Really? I overheard that you wouldn't sell info on me. You'd sell your own grandma if the price was right," the Lightning Flash pressed.

"Hey, if you knew what they were asking about, you wouldn't sell it either." Despite the slight resolve in her words, Argo's eyes stayed fixed on her plate. She knew she didn't deny it.

"Yeah, but you would. What color is Kiriko's underwear?"

Before her brain could catch up to her mouth, Argo responded, "5000 col- Uh..."

Asuna gave her a deadpan look. "I'm not even going to ask how you know. But see? You'll sell anything, even on your best friend, and not even for a high price."

Argo looked away bashfully, offering a tentative excuse. "Uh, to be fair, she wouldn't care?"

The Princess was not impressed. "Right... Even if I buy that excuse, which I don't, what about when you brought me sandwiches in a dungeon?"

"I… just brought them along," Argo explained, "To get map info."

"What about the other… dozen or so times you've brought me food?"

"Uh… also coincidence?"

"Argo… you listen to me when I complain, you help me get through whatever I'm going through no matter what time of day it is, you feed me when you know I'm not eating, and tonight you're checking up on me because you know I won't get any sleep with the raid tomorrow."

The informant had all but shrunk into her seat, staring anywhere away from Asuna. "That's what friends do…?"

With a sigh, Asuna stood up, stepping around and putting a hand on the table to lean down and try to catch Argo's gaze, "And lastly… I've seen you under pressure. You can talk your way out of anything, even when you're terrified and backed into a corner. You don't show anything to anyone."

Argo shrunk further into her seat, away from the advance.

"Throughout all that, I've never once seen you tongue-tied… except for right now…"

Asuna watched the girl open her mouth, then close it with a guilty expression on her face. She was blushing.

"Well?"

"I- uh-" Argo's cheeks flushed red.

The closer Asuna got to her face, the more Argo's eyes tried to dart away and avoid locking gazes. By the time Asuna managed to catch the Rat's eyes, their noses were practically touching.

"I-I don't-" Argo opened her mouth again and paused, struggling to find her voice in this kind of proximity. Asuna gave her the time to get it out.

The informant's eyes dropped every few seconds, glancing down at Asuna's lips just shy of her own.

Argo's voice came out in a whisper. "I want to do something… but I'm afraid of what might happen, if I did…"

"Then how about I do it for you?"

Heart hammering in her chest, Asuna closed the remaining gap and gently brought their lips together. Her partner stiffened in her chair, shock and disbelief shooting through her before Asuna felt her relax, Argo's arms draping up around Asuna's neck.

The table rocked and fell under Asuna's supporting hand, Argo's attempt at catching her only succeeding in bringing them down together as the two tumbled to the ground in a mess of limbs- "Oof-" and shattering plates- "Ow."

They lay, facing each other in silence on the ground, for several seconds, still holding hands from Argo's failed attempt at a rescue as matching smiles gradually grew. Soon, a small giggle slipped from Asuna's lips, followed by a snicker from Argo, until they couldn't help but break into laughter.

The two laughed until they ran out of breath, the tension between them erased by the unceremonious interruption and leaving them lying on their backs on the hardwood floor.

Argo turned her head back towards Asuna, mood lightened and a small smirk on her lips. "Let's try again without the table in the way?"

Asuna pulled her into a tight hug, the pair melting in a fiery kiss.

* * *

**I'll note that, canonically, the Martial Arts quest is significantly different. You just have to keep punching it till it breaks, and the "clever" solution is to ram a monster into it, which is fucking stupid. I'm aware there's a canon way the quest worked and intentionally changed it.**

**A big thanks to Xera Stark (who is not really actively posting anything on FFN rn, but his writing's great) for his help with the bonus. Argo as she exists in this story is basically his character anyway (not that he's ever actually published a story with her) and he helped a lot with ideas here.**

**... I wrote the previous line of this author's note prior to getting stuck being unsatisfied with the confession bit for 2 weeks. An even bigger thanks to Xera for writing half of that and helping me finally get this out!**

**Opinions presented via review are appreciated, or you can join my Discord server via the link on my profile or the "link" in the A/N on chapter 1.**

**Till however long it takes me to write ch4, hopefully less but who knows!**


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